Wish – 3

Posted: July 12, 2018 in Pages of my Diary

From the day I got my driving licence, I had been wanting to buy a car.

Before my wedding was fixed, my mom discouraged me saying, I can choose to spend money over such things post wedding 😦 In fact, I had cash with me to get a brand new car(a normal small car πŸ˜‰ ) without depending on a loan… Still I had to keep the money untouched until marriage was fixed … I understood my mother’s worry and ignored my mind asking me to get one..

My marriage was fixed with AM and time passed by ignoring this wish of mine.. Once AM offered me to drive his new car before our wedding and my fear or driving restricted me to take it with confidence and post that day, AM never offered me and me too never felt like πŸ˜› Time moved on and I continued to sit beside AM in his car and behind him while in his bike….

Thuhi came into our lives and so did Hethi and the new arrival of Thuhi’s little bro :)…I rejoined work, AM back to his work mode at Bahrain and Ingi and Chinju busy with their works… I was with Ingi along with Hethi during the initial days after my rejoining as Hethi’s Nannama was close to their place. I joined driving class again..I am not sure what pushed me but I wanted to drive…It was time when AD – Ingi’s hubby had resigned his job and was planning different things for their future… In their planning phase they decided to sell their new Hyundai i20 and in very short time they did it even before I could think about buying a car… Unexpected thing then happened in our lives that changed my look at life.. AD fell ill with the final stage of Cardiomyopathy.. I don’t want to explain that here … So, during those times of hospital visits and mental tensions, I decided to get a car, learn it and start driving…I had asked K to help me with the process of finding a second hand car as unlike my pre wedding wish to get a new one…

With in a week’s time, K updated me details of a Car and something in my mind pushed me to go for it.. AM’s uncle had been advising me to wait for sometime and then get a new one… FIL was asking me to get a loan and check out for new one but then, something deep inside pushed me to check the second hand option…

I went to my usual temple and asked my uncle(Guru) ifΒ I can go for it. He immediately asked me to go ahead and the plan it for the vijayadhashami day as it is auspicious… It was the next day I went to the place with our family fren bro and immediately gave advance and fixed πŸ˜€ The day after the next day, I went with my FIL and his frens who had come from Kerala to get the car πŸ˜€

30th September 2017

We were totally 5 people who had been there to get a second hand Santro πŸ˜€ Those friends of my FIL were so interesting and encouraging and I felt so good at last…

The entire day from reaching In Law’s place then to get Car with the Gang and back home to get Hethi and then drive to my mom’s place with FIL who dropped me in car, Ingi and family waiting to see, AD driving the car to their place with all of us and me taking in half way πŸ˜€ , rain at night….everything was just awesome πŸ˜€

No matter how worst I describe the day here, It would occupy the best place my memory list…

Atlast, I am too a Car Owner (Amount fully settled, Documents Cleared and Insurance in place :D)



Colours have vanished,

Taste has settled down to just sweet and Salt,

Energy rewritten as time in-front of cellphones,

And Happiness finding new Meaning and definitions…

Am I walking along with the so called Human Race,

Or have I taken a wrong turn in my own pace….

Every time I talk to my conscience , I am left alone from the crowd behind,

Forcing me to take those extra brainless steps to be back in crowd again!


A moment of silence in front of white board holding a black marker,

Looking through my window pane in the 7th floor,

The trees surviving amongst the tall concrete buildings,

The green mountains far behind the airport – framing the scene of aircraft takeoff,

And the cottony white clouds decorating the sky –Β  ignoring the dark grey smoke from the industries beneath,

Is giving me a new Hope of Life!!

Moving with crowd has no meaning, When the destination is unknown πŸ™‚


It’s now “My Time“..

Let the crowd be behind…

I shall paint colours to my present and add flavors to my future,

So that my present and future too,

Occupy the space along with my tasty colourful memories of the past..


Looking through my Window Pane every morning,

Seeing aircrafts takeoff and move through the clear blue sky,

Flock of birds rhythmically flying and the Strong Mountains far behind…

I wait for my daily meeting alarm,

To kick start my day at Office…


All the highlights planned for this year is almost done and now I feel, I will have time to plan for my writing πŸ˜€

Chinju’s wedding was planned and executed very well and now things are settled.

Hethi’s Nannamma’s husband met with an accident and she had to be with him to take care exactly a month before the wedding. Wedding nearing, I wanted to be with Amma and so with no option, admitted Hethi in creche near by. So, now I don’t need to depend on the baby sitter or my MIL for taking care of Hethi πŸ™‚ This was a big Change in our life…

AM had come for vacation and though I did not get time with him as always, most of our worries have been settled down. AM has made up his mind to come back to India by end of the year to settle down as a family πŸ™‚

Yesterday, I switched back to working mode and Hethi back to creche life after our one month stay at in-law’s place…

Have planned a list of things to be done before 2018 signs off πŸ™‚ Need to spend next 6 months for me!

Will be back soon:)

A quick catch up :) – 2017

Posted: February 6, 2018 in Pages of my Diary

Lots of things have been happening around my life in the past 2 years…. Its been more than a year since I joined work after my maternity leave and now my little one is 2.5.. Time is flying always so fast that by the time I realize that I am getting old, My younger sis is getting married πŸ˜€

On Official front – I am continuing in the same account that I joined after leaves and continuing to do the same old uninteresting job πŸ˜› Only positive side of it is that – Less Stress, Less time spent on travel to office and weekends are just for me πŸ™‚

Regarding my little one –Β  She has started talking and mingling with people as least expected πŸ˜› and of-course she has become a Super Naughty Gal, Being with her Nannamma(Baby sitter) whole day – she speaks better Tamil than my mom πŸ˜› …. It’s now time for us to put her in school and then I will have lots to write Iam sure πŸ˜€

With AM – He is continuing in Bahrain and is expecting me and Hethi to join him…. Iam still in the stage of dilemma with that decision and leave that upon almighty who usually settles my uncertainty..

Friends – Having a really really good times these days with my friends circle…. Lots to post about it :.. Will take a different post

With Family – Younger sis Chinju is getting married to her Love with the support of both families… Hope to play a good role in the planning and implementation of the Wedding πŸ™‚ Weekends going forward will be for that πŸ™‚ Tough to realize that she has grown up πŸ™‚

Apart from all this, one thing that happened is me getting a CAR πŸ™‚

After years of wishing, this one gets ticked in my wish list… Got a second hand Santro… Now that we don’t have a person at home to drive Car, I started using it πŸ˜›

People criticized me for choosing to buy an old one and that too for the cost that I paid(double the worth is what all told me)..But then, it was the decision of 2 days and I had to buy it… If Ihad waited thinking of better options, I would have ended up not buying just like past 6 years πŸ˜€ I have now started driving and gaining confidence….This is a Milestone in my life πŸ˜€

Before I close the post, I have decided to come back to this site often and update posts to ensure I dont forget writing πŸ˜› Its been really really long…

Thanks to my Manager for connecting from Home today πŸ˜€

First Crush

Posted: October 24, 2017 in Emotions from Heart

What do I call it, I was confused…
Was I too young to decide it to be “Love at First Sight
or Was I too matured enough to conclude it as mere “Infatuation“….
Years later I realized the meaning of “First Crush” πŸ˜‰
I was in grade 8 when he joined us first…
New guy in the class, lots to know and explore I thought…
Creative was he through my glasses –
Which was then fresh as pink roses….

A tall handsome guy in class,
Smart enough to declare himself a “Prince” πŸ˜‰
Is it his looks or his talks…
Who knows at that tender age what attracts the most,
For the first time in my life – I was attracted to someone!
The attraction that blossoms at teen πŸ˜‰

I saw him –
Mingling with gang of gals who were not into my close set,
Roaming with guys who never waved me a hi-bye,
And felt him to be a part of the gang that I never much bothered about :P!
How can I welcome him to my circle I thought cos…
I was sure not to enter his. πŸ˜€

What would get us a chance to shake hands I wondered…
And that’s when I came to know he too writes as I did. πŸ˜›

I write a lot and call it myself poems – Then and even Now πŸ˜€
My Mom and Dad kept encouraging me to write and so did my kith and kin,
My friends kept praising me for all those simple write-ups or rhyme,
And so, did my English Ma’am…

I still remember instances that made me scribble those lines,
I still treasure those hand-written poem books of mine,
And I still feel good for that being a reason for our lovely friendship to bind πŸ™‚

School Memories with him are not so much,
But those few moments still remain so fresh…
Our small discussions about poems and what to write,
Exchanging our views on the common topics,
And Our Trip to Bird Sanctuary remains memorable as ever-
For all that special moments together πŸ˜€

His Flip-book animation still excites me and the story still refreshes me…

Just like a bubble did our times together last,
We moved apart to different schools for higher…
And then, on with our graduation and new friends…
Lot of changes and distance apart I thought,
But our first mobile chat in my friend’s mobile –
Brought back the same excitement in me after years πŸ˜€

Where to start and how to go onΒ  – I have no clue,
For all those small-small lovely moments I had with you,
I am not sure if you remember,
But I still treasure those memories as a token of remembrance of my “First Crush“…

I still smile…thinking of…
The times I used my friend’s mobile – Just to say a Hi to you…

You were the one who introduced me the SMS style and slang,
When, “Dear”, “Darling” and “Sweeethearts” were far beyond my typing skills πŸ˜›
I remember saving the SMS counter everyday,
For that was the generation when SMS did cost more of a penny…

Those vacation days spent with my Grandma,
Dialing your number just to listen to your caller tune –
“Senorita – I love you ” …not just once but N times :P,
Makes me burst out laughing even today πŸ˜€
But those add to the wonderful memorable times of my life πŸ™‚

It was not infatuation, or love or attraction then,
But just an emotion coated with loving memories –
Memories that would make me smile even now πŸ˜€

The day I stepped into your house with my friend,
The day you invited us to your room and the pictures you shared,
The moment you pulled my hand while leaving….
And the exact moment when my friend looked at us clueless..
Still remains special –
For that is “The Day” you addressed me
“Sweetheart” looking into my eyes …

Silly were those days when I think of it now,
but are still gifting me a chance to smile πŸ™‚

Sweetheart for you my sweetheart” he offered me a small candy-
Amongst the big chocolate bars that his mom placed in front of
Although the smallest – It remains special with white wrapper
and a pink heart on it πŸ™‚
And the wrapper continues to occupy the wonderful page of
my personal diary πŸ˜€

He moved out for his job and I for mine,
Phone calls and messages became rare –
For we both were into 2 different IT giants-
trying to cope with the all new IT world…

Excited was I to enter the new place…
But the excitement found no bound to meet him there πŸ˜›
Somewhere in some corner of the world,
we find things least expected,
To churn our memories and refresh usΒ  πŸ™‚

He was there – calm and composed,
One among the 500 that we joined…
“A replica of my crush should I say
Or my weird imagination.”
Tough was to find out the details,
Surprise was the result to know…
For their names shared the same starting letter πŸ˜›
I dint talk to him once, I have no clue where is now
And neither did I bother to trace, for he was just a replica πŸ˜›
A passing cloud that rained to refresh my memories πŸ˜€

Time flew so fast and we moved on to different directions,
New friends, new relationships and completely new phase of life…

I am a mother of a gal and
He – dad of a boy,
Both of us heading towards different goals in life…
Still the unexpected flip of the coin, gave us a chance πŸ™‚

After years,
we ended up working in the same campus…

I had the same excitement as ages ago to meet him in this place,
And the Excitement overwhelmed when he offered to drop me back home πŸ™‚

we talk, we share and we enjoy travel together recollecting those old memories… πŸ™‚
The beauty of life is just awesome….
He was my first crush and would remain the same…
After all, its one world and same emotions that travel across hearts!!!


My First Journey

Posted: December 22, 2016 in Book of my Dream

Through the dim-lit narrow roads,

Cutting of the cold breeze and strong winds,

Accompanied by the sound of Splashing raindrops,

Moved the jeep with the New-Born….


I could hear the heavy splashes ofΒ raindrops…

I could feel the chillness of cold breeze…

I could see the dim-lit narrow roads…

I could feel the warmth of the black blanket that is now safe in my grandma’s Almirah

And above all, I could feel his loving – safe hands holding me so close….

Journey of Love,

Journey with Nature,

The first Journey of my Life…



Some say I am –Β “Lost in Thoughts”

Some tease that I am – “Gone Mad”


I still remember everything so well-

The rain,

The breeze,

The narrow roads &

The thick black blanket…

And yeah… The very sight of the blanket now,

Takes me to that journey so real…


I admit…

It’s either my memory which none would accept… or

My grandma’s memory that has been transferred to me so very well that.. It has now become a part of mine too πŸ™‚

Is it my MEMORY or my loving Grandma’s TALENT ???

Anyway, to me, it’s the first journey of my life in this world…

A journey so special that I still treasure….

A journey welcomed byΒ loving nature….

Ammamma – Β I dedicate this to you….



Rendezvous with Memory

Posted: December 21, 2016 in Pages of my Diary

I was getting into my regular working mode after my long work from home, maternity and child care leaves……… I was slowly getting on track that I found very little time for my self…it was then, that one of my old friend pinged me in whats-app… OK now, here I start my story πŸ™‚

This friend I am referring to was my HR during my initial trainee period.

Being a non IT graduate and making an entry into an IT Giant, everything around felt like Greek & Latin to me πŸ˜‰ …. Security checks, small cabins, people glued to monitors, presentations on projectors, client callsΒ in meeting rooms and the lifeless faces on our ID cards…. I felt a complete misfit here….

The team that always brought oasis to this desert or the team that tried breaking the silence prevailed in the ODCΒ was “The HR Team”.. I just loved our HR team, the HRs and the activities they did.. I was a person who was very jovial, energetic and enthusiastic when it came to anything other than coding πŸ˜› It was during those wonderful days of my life, that I was into various activities in the team and even came up to organizing our project level yearly events. I used to run and fly while organizing(My Delivery Manager gave me the responsibility of ensuring team’s energy and happiness :P) and participating in events. I even dared to step in for a ramp walk(conducted in the company)Β which I had no idea about… :P.. So that was me during my initial daysΒ trying to findΒ happiness in this deserted place πŸ™‚ From the day I entered till today, I feel I have been lucky enough to get the good people around …

It was during one of the events that SP entered my friend list. Our team was participating in the skit competition organised by HR and SP had sent me an sms regarding our performance slot. So then, his number was saved in my mobile.. I don’t know how exactly but me and SP were in touch and became good friends as years moved although both of us took different routes πŸ™‚ Now, to say about SP, he was a handsome guy as seen through the eyes of all gals in our floor and above (Imagine ours to be ground floor of the 7 floors) πŸ˜› To me, I considered him a very senior person and admired him with respect. He was the “Only Guy” in HR team that time I guess(Not sure if I too like others, missed to notice any) and somehow he gained respect in my heart.

For my wedding, which happened after more than 2 years of being into this team, I had invited all big and small from this place that gifted me the financial confidence that I have now… I learnt after months of my wedding that SP had been for the wedding but didn’t turn up to the stage as it was too crowded. He pinged me in communicator once I was back after marriage vacation and requested for a meeting so that he can handover the gift he had got for my wedding… I was really really surprised toΒ realize that he had given importance to the wedding invite of a junior team mate … He had moved from being HR to next roles in course of time and so did I… I used to message him once in blue moon and have met him few times in our canteen when he visited my branch. As assured to him, I informed him when I planned my first onsite travel and, informed him when I planned for my maternity leaves and then it was a long gap πŸ™‚ By then, he had been on an onsite assignment at Norway and our contact was not missed but I could say we rarely realized that our contacts existed πŸ˜› He would have been busy with his new role, challenges and family and likewise I was completely out of my usual circle and unknowingly got restricted to my little darling, my family and issues πŸ™‚

I get a whats-app message a month back like “Hello..I had called you..”

To be frank, I could not guess who it was and neither did the DP helped me πŸ˜› I just replied with a confused smiley and then I get a call from the same number which I missed to attend last week …. I attended the call..



This hello went for twice/ thrice as I tried to guess the voice….

“Hey… Neengala…???” I was loud and his response was a question asking if I actually understood who πŸ˜›

I had mistaken him to be my old fren SA πŸ˜‰Β but he was at US and the number was not from US…

I recognized him now…

“Hey… SP” I literally shouted with excitement.. I never expected him to give me this importance πŸ™‚ We spoke for a while and then he shared his Christmas vacation plan and promised we meet πŸ™‚

After few days,

Just during our my usual chat with GA, she asked me to check with SP if he can help with any opportunity for her at Canada…She had forwarded her resume to my mail and I just forwarded it to SP requesting help. I get an immediate out of office response and then I realized that he by now, should be in India.

I messaged him and yeah as planned we decided to meet the next day…

21st Dec 2016

He asked me to take off from my usual project hours so that we can go for lunch and then after coffee he can drop me at home. But then, I felt I cannot take the advantage of my Manager’sΒ liberty and hence informed that I will either go for lunch and be back to office or would meet after lunch at 3 so that I can have coffee and return home directly. After few discussions, we decided that we will meet at 3 in my branch and then move out for coffee..I informed my manager the truth and yeah I was waiting for the meet πŸ™‚

I, well in advance informed SP that he will not be able to recognize me cos its almost 2-3Β years since we met πŸ˜› I started from my desk Β to my office gate as he informed that he will wait at the gate. But, in sometime, I get call from him saying, he is inside the campus. I was new to this office – location and I had no idea how to guide him with the route and he told that he will better go out and wait as he too got confused… As I walked toward the main entrance,…hey….here he drives in…. And again to my surprise, he recognized me πŸ˜€

I got into his car, placed my bag in the rear seats and then we drove off πŸ™‚ I was finding it little difficult to start but then as we moved to the ECR (Yes…it was really a long drive compared to my expectation of having a coffee in some cafe near by), I started my usual chit chatting πŸ˜› I have never spent a time like this with SP ever and now I did have a confusion about lot of things…Anyway, this drive was also one among the breaks I wanted these days πŸ™‚ We went to Coffee day in ECR and occupied a corner space from were I had a clear vision of the road πŸ™‚ We had ordered for cold coffee… My stomach was already full with heavy meals that I packed from home but then how long can I simply sit in a coffee shop πŸ˜›

After placing the orders, SP came to the seat with his laptop bag… Yes..now don’t roll your eyes πŸ˜› It was working day for him and it was his peak meeting times:P He tried to spend sometime talking to me but then he had his own worries at work front I understood.. Anyway, I spent time thinking about my old days, my project mates, leads, Managers and the set of enthusiastic HR team who I always admired. My eyes were most of the times on the empty road and I just wanted to go for a walk..or rather, I was actually wanting to run around to feel the sun and the slowly moving breeze πŸ™‚ (It was a sunny day ;)) I just wished, if SP shutdowns his Laptop and we go for a walk in the beach-side recollecting the old days … But unfortunately, SP was glued to his monitor until it was time for us to start back…

In few minutes, I got something to do rather than sitting idle starring at the empty roads πŸ˜› Yes…. I was sipping the cold coffee…really slowly trying to feel the taste of every sip ….. In between his work, SP tried giving me little company… Anyway, it was then time for us to start…I would rather say, I was late because I had told mom that I would beΒ reaching home early than usual but that time has already crossed and I was miles apart from my office πŸ˜›

Atlast, SP had shutdown his Laptop and we started our journey back πŸ™‚ I would say, the return journey was awesome considering the amount of talking we did and memories we walked through. It was then, I came to know that he too had memories in which I played a role just like my memories in which he took active role… I would fail if I try to type in the exact conversation/ sharing we had because, those were sharing ofΒ a golden period that both of us traveled together. I felt so fresh and energetic as Β I traveled years back…I discussed a lot about how I felt seeing the HR team, how my team mates teased me with the sms SP sent me, how gals in our batch were behind him and lot more.. We also spoke about that departed soul of HR team 😦 He had shared his experiences as HR and how he felt working with us etc…I was in fact surprised when he told about how I looked in a green salwar on a particular day… I had to roll my eyes…. I was flying now πŸ˜› to know someone noticed me among a gang πŸ˜› (I was not a person who gave importance to dressing and makeup those days. May be, post wedding, I would have changed a bit :P)

And then, we moved on through the heavy traffic road…. I was looking at the time and was wondering if I would reach atleast before 10 PM 😦 But then, the worry about delay was less this time πŸ˜› As we kept talking, “Nature’s call” 😦 I did not know how to react and what to do… After a point, I had to tell SP πŸ˜› I realized that I would not be able to control until we reached my office and hence requested SP to stop anywhere he found a place πŸ˜› After few minutes, I was restless…..At-last, after trying to take halt at few places which was a failure due to parking issues, SP gave me “The Idea” !!!

“ITC Grand Chola”(Chennai’s Luxury Hotel)is closer, I will drop you at the entrance, you get in as a guest, and then come out. I shall wait. (What an Idea Sirji!!!) I was in a situation that I could neither accept the idea not reject it..

Lots of thoughts were running in my mind.. I was not dressed as if for a party, I was not sure if there were some official meetings happening for which I couldΒ pretend to have come or rather I have never been to that place before…. Apart from all the worries, nature’s call was something taking the first place. Yes!! I decided to take his suggestions πŸ˜› I put up with him n number of doubts for this one plan…

” What would I say while getting in”,

” What if someone asks which function”,

” Where would be the rest room”

” How can I make an entry and directly ask for rest room”

“What if there was no function”

Lots of logical and illogical questions πŸ˜› Somehow, we reached the entrance and SP stopped the car in front.. I got down with my mobile in hand… Securities were waiting out and there were front office executives in uniform….I stepped into the front office… There were neatly dressed up ladies waiting and I reached out to them without any delay and enquired about the rest room. With no questions from their end, a lady walked me towards the restroom.. As we moved, I looked at the wonderful large palace like interiors and ensured I noted down the way…I was into the restroom and the moment I felt so relaxed which I can never explain in words πŸ˜› Please dont laught πŸ˜‰

I refreshed myself and then stepped out… I slowly moved through the same path that the lady took me so that I wont get missed (I’m very poor at routes :P) I got near a glass door through which I could see the entrance… But then, I happened to ask a guy who walked the way in uniform as where was the entrance and he guided me towards the exact opposite direction 😦 I was confused as I started noticing that I was walking through a completely different route….SP was on call and told me that I was going in a different direction as he saw me moving away from entrance…I somehow found the entrance and searched for SP to find him nowhere….

“Hey.. I’s waiting at the same place I dropped you”

“I am also waiting in the entrance but I cannot see you :(”

I confirmed that I was in the entrance with a security and informed the same to SP. It was then that SP told me, this had entrance from all 4 directions πŸ˜› and I was at the opposite entrance. And then, I waited for SP to pick me πŸ™‚ We were back to car and started towards my office… This was a completely different experience for me.Ha ha ha…

Time was too late and we had to rush…. As we moved, SP realized that he has a meeting to attend from his office for which he had to take a reverse route after dropping me… I then, told that, It would be okay if he drops me at my office so that I can take bus from there just like my usual days… As we moved closer to my office, I noticed a bus to my place moving in front πŸ™‚ Time was moving so fast and it was dark already and SP had to join meeting from his office… We targeted to reach the bus stop before that bus reaches so that I can get in and just as the signal could change, I got down from the car and without even waving my hand, rushed to the bus in front πŸ™‚ Perfect timing….. A meeting with a friend after years of gap.. It was lovely….

No much talking, no much roaming, nothing much still, this day will remain fresh for the fact that it gifted me a close walk through my lovely past πŸ™‚ and a terrible experience with Nature’s call πŸ˜›

One major thing we missed was a Snap together to treasure this meeting in future….